A few commandments for myself

Besides the self does one has the right to destroy one’s self-esteem? Many times we feel low, seemingly for no reason, often for reasons beyond our control. Lowering of self-worth often is an imaginary concept. In case that happens the first thing one can do is to change the way one thinks, and the way one treats oneself. One can also think of correcting her/his negative thought patterns, as well as unhealthy habits. Take a look –are you surrounded by negative people? Do the people you are surrounded with supporting your negativity or positivity? Are you surrounded by toxic people who only talk about themselves and have no time to hear what you say? Going overboard with your apologies is certainly not a great idea. Before saying sorry don’t always assume your fault. You may not have done anything wrong. Don’t feel indebted unnecessarily to someone. Negative self-talks are very dangerous for self-esteem. Don’t always think others are thinking only bad about you. If you do so you are wasting your precious time. If you always think about the snake, the snake appears. Fear is the greatest killer. Don’t give up easily to your ill-trapped fears. Learn to say no. Becoming a yes-man doesn’t improve your self-worth. Always remember that you possess the limited capacity of making others happy. Remember that no bad event is permanent and as bad to break you into pieces. Momentary spikes are made for few moments. When complimented for something accept it graciously instead of saying ‘Oh no I did not deserve it’. External validations are very important for improving one's self-worth. Don’t always compare yourself with others. Your and other circumstances are different. A skewed perception about oneself, as well as others, leads to a drop in self-esteem. Attaining perfection all the time does the greatest harm to self-esteem. A perfect world doesn't exist. It is like a thought experiment. Set boundaries for yourself as well others so that no one can take you for granted. No one but you has to protect your dignity. If you are clear in your thoughts, don't hesitate to speak up your mind to friends and colleagues. They must know your true worth. You must have the courage to take the responsibilities of your decisions. You only can make yourself a liability or an asset.

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© 2017 by Dr Purnendu Ghosh