A travelling monk once told me that the key that can open the gates of heaven can also open the gates of hell, and we all have this key with us. We all make our definitions of ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’. We all have the power to do good as well as bad. We all can heal, as well as hurt. We all succeed as well as fail. Our stories have more or less similar beginnings and ends. The path we traverse in between the non-linear journey is partly in our hands. It takes time for us to realise that our journeys were beautiful. Often it is too late to realise this simple fact of life.
The point is why shouldn’t one care for oneself, or for the end results. Can one do anything without keeping in view the end result, despite the fact that all results are not in our hands. Those of us who are not monks, it is good to know that we are not monks. We don’t like to remain closeted with our thoughts. We value experience. We want to experience successes as well as failures. We come well prepared to experience success, as that is our natural expectation. We often fail when we experience failure. It is ok if we can’t face failure, as we are genetically made that way. No one comes to experience failure. As evolution says we wouldn’t begin, we wouldn’t take the first step, if we know beforehand that we shall fail. However, we fail, more than we succeed. During the journey we prepare ourselves to deal with failures. It is not easy, nevertheless.
Let me digress a bit. I am going through a crisis. It can be called a personal crisis. I am feeling that I failed in one of my important missions. I failed despite several adjustments. I failed, not solely due to my failure. I failed to build an enterprise I came here for. The worst thing is that the owner of the enterprise is not sorry for this failure. Can this gentleman be called the truthful owner of this enterprise? Can something be owned without personal ownership. A mere property is worth nothing if it doesn’t serve its purpose. These are philosophical questions. Perhaps they don’t mean anything. I am confused. I am feeling sorry but not desperate. Often I am off-balance. I am seeing only the big picture. The small pictures that make the big picture are often too hazy to me. I often think I chased a mirage. Did I chase a mirage? I am not sure if it was a mirage. Perhaps someone else will find water in the desert. Perhaps I made the way to reach the desert.
Let me once again digress a bit. If one wants to be known as a human being, one way is to remember that no AI can truly know a person. ‘Machines’ can never tell the stories truthfully. The best technique a doctor has is to offer herself to her patients. Such ‘deep doctors’ know their patients . They don’t need to examine them mechanically and electronically. Some ‘essentials’ can’t be digitized. Nothing works more than “I am with you”. I am happy that my people are with me.